Feminism? No.

Hi friends,

Here's another ranty post, basically touching on the very sensitive yet highly discussed topic - Feminism. Disclaimer before anything, I do not identify myself as a feminist although I am strongly against disrespecting women BUT I am also strong against disrespecting men and animals and all sorts.

So basically, I do not agree with the word Feminism because it just puts a pointless and negative label on oneself when at the end of the day, it's just treating humans as humans. It just happens that women get into more shit than men but men also do get into shit as well, just that it isn't widely talked about and all.

Before it gets out of hand, my take on "feminism" is - Yes its a great thing that woman are getting the chance to fight for equal rights as men (For instance, getting the same pay for doing the same job) and also raising the awareness that in some areas/countries women are getting disrespected and that needs to change. Also, we have to pay attention to the fact that not all men disrespects women and not all men are greatly respected too - some men actually suffer worse fates than some woman just that once again, it is not as highly discussed.

Anyway, what I want to talk about today is NOT about woman rights and all that but solely about respect. More specifically, respect from women to women. Notice how these days there is a big hoo-ha about the need for men to respect woman? But how can we expect men to respect us as women when we as women can't even respect one another?

I've been seeing countless posts that surround women ridiculing one another these days and honestly it baffles me.

(My guess that this was probably written by a girl who wears make up dissing girls (who dont) diss them, ah, what a cycle)



These is just a tiny example that happens over the internet but what scares me the most is that it is actually happening around me - A LOT. 

Example 1: I was on the bus home the other day and all the bus could hear was this bunch of uni kids talking crazy loudly about people. One particular topic that they talked about was about a certain girl. So this group was made out of maybe 3 guys and 2 girls or something like that and I could hear the guy referring to a picture and going "Okay, she needs to firstly fix her brows, then change out of that hideous outfit etcetc" and what shocked me that followed after was what the girls actually said to him "Omg, that is so right, you're so right she totally need to fix herself up!"

*disclaimer: It's not exactly what they said but its 90% similar*

And okay everyone talks about people yes but dissing someone's looks and even encouraging people to do so is just crappy and to be honest, very low. So putting into context of what I'm trying to get at - if we as females can't even respect each other and set an example, how do we expect other people to do that for us? Maybe between them they don't separate themselves as males and females but as a group of friends and talking shit about this particular person can be funny but overtime, it may turn to see that it's actually okay to diss someone. BUT it is not, whether it's a male or a female it's just low af to talk about someone like that and pointing out what they have to change to that they can fit into the crappy expectation that you have (which are falsely formed by media and photoshop.)

That person for all you know could be suffering with low self-esteem and is actually struggling to get out of bed every freakin' day. 

Example 2: This actually happened rather recently, so I have this friend A who underwent cosmetic surgery a couple of years back and I am perfectly okay with doing things to make yourself feel better, to build yourself up. I am actually envious of people who knows how to utilise the magic of make up because I struggle with keeping my lipstick on my lips *cries*

After all, we live in a society that only knows how to tear people down and then cry about people tearing them down *rolls eyes*

So anyway, back to the story, friend A had cosmetic surgery and living the life well, happy and everything is going great so I'm well happy for friend A. And recently, friend B texted me and asked for a picture of friend A pre surgery. 

I asked friend B what it is for and friend B basically said that friend B's friends doesn't believe that friend A had cosmetic surgery before so friend B wanted picture proof. And damn was I disappointed.

Bearing in mind that I'm considerably on good terms with friend B but haven't spoken to friend A in AGES but I was still really upset with friend B. I basically said the following:



Yes although I may be on good terms with friend B compared to friend A, I still do not agree with friend B using someone's past and insecurity as a topic of discussion/gossip. To be frank, I thought it to be one of the lowest move a human could possibly pull (males/females aside)

Think about it, talking about someone's past/insecurity as a moment of discussion and more often that not just to merely pass time or just have a couple of minutes of "OhhhhHHHhh" can actually leave a lifetime of impact should that person find out.

Why don't people realize that it is NOT okay to comment on people's looks and even worse, use it as a discussion. 

I'd love to give more back story that contributes to what puts me off about the request that friend B asked of me because it'll probably be shitty but in my own eyes, what picture (coupled with additional remarks from random people) could potentially ruin a relationship.

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Leading back to what I'm trying to get at, yes it is an important thing that men learn to respect women but isn't it more important to respect one another as human beings? 

I know backlash is going to come back at me saying that I don't know the pains that some women put up with because of how men treat them and I agree, I am very fortunate to not have to experience the horrible physical pain that some of them had to go through. For instance not having the rights to study, or in worse case - acid on their face that ruin their entire life or even suffering from abuse. 

But trust me, I've had my fair share of emotional pain. One of them that stuck with me was when I was back in Poly and was doing some event for school and we had a mix of seniors, juniors and well, people from my batch and we were out on a field trip and such.

If you know me you'd know that I'm no where near small or skinny but yes i'm actually really short and although I love myself, there are things I'm working towards changing such as going down a couple of dress sizes and all that. Once again, yes I love myself but I do have my insecurities and things I wish I could change in an instant. 

But anyway so this senior sat across me on the bus and my friend was sitting beside me and he just "omg Cheryl, you're making the bus dent on your side!!" and all I could do at that time was just laugh and brush it off. Can't remember if my friend made a remark but damn, that was ages ago and even now when I'm in an entirely different country, with a different group of friends and all that, it is still stuck with me. I shall spare you the details of my thought process but lets just say, to that senior it may be a moment of joke, got himself a couple of laughs but damn, was I genuinely hurt and because extra self conscious.

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At the end of the day I agree that men should learn to respect women and we as women can start by learning how to respect one another. What I agree even more is that we as humans should learn to respect one another. AND ALSO RESPECT ANIMALS.

So if you've read so far and you're a female - lets learn to put aside dissing down other females and learn to lift each other up. Set good examples so that people will know what is it like to 1) be respected and 2) how to respect. 

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Again, these posts are totally spontaneous and not planned as well as I wish it would but hey here's what a rant post looks like to you! 

Hope you've enjoyed my not so little rant and all opinions expressed are mine.

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P/S: A couple more days till my dreaded exam are over and hello summer, hello proper blog post! 



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